Eisner-nominated comic book writer Alex de Campi and THR contributorRead more...
So, you know you’re overweight, and it’s easy to tell yourself the truth when you’re not with friends and family, unless they really care about you. Wait, does that mean if they don’t tell you the truth, they don’t like you?…… Probably so.
Right now you’re thinking, “But mum and sis and my boyfriend and my BFFs say I’m only chubby, that it’s cute. And then there’s Kate with her lets-be-healthy rant, telling women and girls the world over that minimally plump (if that’s what you’d call her) is okay. Then there’s all that fuss over that bunch of scientists who’re saying fat women have brainy kids, and hotter guys…”, and you’ll keep telling yourself a lot stuff, and when your brain decides not to listen to you, you’ll go find people who’ll agree with your notions on health.
Even though you already know what your well-equipped brain knows what your personally unique weight really should be.
So, I’ll help. Coz I’m really nice, and I feel like I should be bothered about you for real this time.
We’re a very fragile race mentally, us humans. We prefer to run from opinions that clash with the voices in our heads. Especially the voices that tell us this really isn’t working out.
See, the thing is, your mum and BFFs are aging, and you are competition, whether you like it or not, whether you accept it or not, whether you weigh a hundred pounds or a hundred kilos, and, whether they act on that or not.
No, I’m not telling you to do an Olsen, it is true that 90% of bulimics are overweight, and I’m not suggesting you live on love and sunshine either. Nor am I asking you to pull a mean girl. We really can’t confront the hoes running you down with their own emotional baggage, family or not.
But I am telling you this. Even a couple of grams over the safe norm is a bad idea for your body. And no, don’t go down that road, you know what your ideal weight should be, and it’s not the one where you look like Amy Winehouse or Beyonce or Kim, and it cannot be said enough that their choices concerning the men they keep are screaming proof that it’s not a good idea to have body weight distributed like that. Yes, the first one’s dead and the other two are fat. F. A. T. Even a bit of excess is still an excess. And you and I don’t have the luxury of being miserable. Fine, fine, Beyonce is fixing it.
But you get where I’m going with this. There’s no need to store fat like a dinosaur is going to come hunting you down, nor do you have to look like a twelve yr old boy. And you don’t have to look like her or that other one the one who did that and then that happened or whatever that was about. Ask your brain about your ideal weight, but remember to allow yourself and your soul to go through the five stages of grief before you get the right answer. Coz man does life mind rape us girls like the flash thingy in the MIB movies.
Now I’ll strike the flint at your back while you head on out the door of denial to brighter days, but don’t forget your warrior paint. Girls who use make-up are more likely to hold themselves with dignity through adversity. Just ask the English and the Japs. No, this is not a joke. No, I’m really not kidding. Just don’t wear all that face goop in the gym, and you’ll be fine.
And yes, it’s good to be real thrifty over stuff that you need to be thrifty about. There are a billion different website with diets and exercise, and you can do it without a gym. But this is where you start, even if it will kill you. And don’t stop. Phoenix power!!
Coz it’s better late than never but not now just won’t cut it.
May the force be with you!