Author CJ Sansom, writing about bullying last weekend, said hisRead more...
James bond does it like a pro. But he always falls in love with them. It’s convenient that they die in the end. But in real life they don’t die. They get your number, and you become Miss Booty Call. This precarious situation can be avoided, and dealt with delicately. I’ve had to learn this the hard way. It is an art that always has room for greater perfection.
So without further ado, here are the tips on how to deal with the awkward morning after the one night stand (ons):
· You’ll need to wake up before him. And look decent when he sees you. Wash your face; use cologne, no leaky mascara. It needs to be done to show that you still think the dude is human.
· Needless to say, make sure you keep your personal space neat and clean. It’s disguising when a ons’ place is messy, I get really put off, and sometimes I’ve left the minute in enter the place and see the mess.
· Make sure you have coffee and a quick breakfast ready. Have a smile. Not one that says we should be together, but one that says, it was fun. You might need to practice the perfect look in front of a mirror. And tell him he can take breakfast to go. Obviously it has to be something that can be taken to go.
· Keep an extra towel. Dry cleaned or washed. Mention you keep extras for ons. He’ll get that you are not into him. Just don’t say it too tactlessly.
· If he asks for your number, real sheepishly, tell him while handing him coffee, that it was fun but you won’t want to do that to a nice guy like him again. Don’t forget to laugh after that. Or smile, which ever suits you better. Keep food handy. For him. Food distracts them from asking questions.
· Laugh at his lame jokes. Be polite.
· Don’t let him stay over 30 minutes after he woke up.
· Don’t do a handshake, or something equally lame. No kisses on the cheek either. Waving bye is okay.
· Last but not the least, don’t ever decide somewhere in between all this that he’s a great guy and you’ll want to date him. It won’t work out. Ever. No matter how great it was, or seemed like. If he really feels like it, he’ll find a way to find you again. It’s a very obvious thing, okay.