Banish awkward first dates with these ice breakers
Let’s be honest: First dates, while exciting, can also be downright terrifying. Sometimes we get so caught up in what a first date can lead to that we freeze under the pressure. Awkward silences abound, or worse: You ask him a question that either comes off like you’re interviewing him for a job, or you’re interviewing him for the wedding you already have planned. Either way, womp, womp.
Because there will be times when you’d like a second date, let’s learn the art of asking your potential guy the right questions, shall we?
You should use this time together to playfully grill each other — while, you know, throwing in some flirting for good measure. Asking questions is also a great way to calm your nerves: “This takes the attention off you so you can take a few deep breaths and calms yourself,” says relationship expert Nicole McCance. “Pick something you have in common, whether it’s a mutual friend, the bar you met at or the online dating site he emailed you on and go from there.”
The more you allow questions to come up naturally as you go along, the easier he’ll feel you are to talk to. “The secret to achieving good flow is to intersperse the question-asking with tidbits of sharing about yourself, and when you do ask further questions they should be related to new information that he’s just revealed,” says relationship expert Kimberly Moffit.
You: “Where did you go to school?”
Him: “I went to Queens. I’m originally from Kingston, so I wanted to stay close to home.”
You (Right way to achieve conversation): “Oh, that’s cool. I have a couple of friends who went to Queens and they loved it! So what was it like growing up in Kingston?”
You (Instant conversation-killer): “Oh, OK. So what do you do for a living?”
You want to try to incorporate your questions throughout the flow of the conversation, not as if you’re checking them off a list. “If you pose a question that elicits the same information as a joke, a clause in a humorous story or wrapped in flirtation, you may not only get your answer, but you’ll open a conversation about the topic,” says relationship expert April Masini.
15 Questions to ask on a first date…